Mama's Birthday

Today would have been my mama's 75th birthday.  I cannot help but wonder how we might have celebrated this day as it is one of those mile marker birthdays, but then I have been without a mother for so long now that it's a struggle to picture us as mother and daughter doing anything.  That's a sad thought but just the reality of my situation since I lost her when I was 16 years old.  I'm sad for what I've missed out on all these years.  Though I dearly love the "adopted mothers" God has placed in my life, no one can take my mama's place.   Today I find myself thinking about her soft hands, the light in her beautiful brown eyes, and the sound of her voice laughing or singing.  Those thoughts take me to an emotional place I've not been to in a long while.  I can speak from experience to the wisdom that time does help a lot with the grieving process.

I really didn't intend for this post to be sad though.   I want to say that the fact that I have been able to move on emotionally is a testament to our Creator.  We are so much more than our physical selves.   I believe that perhaps I don't yearn for her physically because her spirit lives on in me.  For the first 16 years of my life, she loved, nurtured, guided, taught, and shaped me so there's no doubt that her influence is indelibly stamped on who I am today.  In honor of the beautiful woman that she was, I want to share the spirit of her that lives on in me:

- My mom was a "people person" and so am I.  Relationships are extremely important to me.  My family and friends are my dearest treasures.
- My mom loved music and so do I.   This "love of my life" is always close at hand whether I'm at the piano or plugged into some listening device.
- My mom loved crafting of all kinds and so do I.  Crocheting, knitting, cross-stitch, quilting ... I've always got some project underway.
-My mom was "tech savvy" before there was such a thing and friends say that about me too.  I remember her teaching me how to work a typewriter that could turn out mass mailings using a ticker tape.  Now I'm showing my age!
-My mom loved African violets and you will always find a few of those in my house.
-I've been told my mom approached life with a calm yet confident spirit.  I like to believe that could be said of me also.
-Last but not least, my mom loved God, His Word, and His church.  She (along with my Dad, of course) instilled this love in me by dedicating their lives to His Kingdom.  I am proud of their legacy, and it is my goal to pass it on to my next generation.

Of course, I listed only positive traits here ... I wonder if she was a procrastinator or indecisive at times.  I wonder if she desired to take better care of herself physically and spiritually ... I better stop "wondering" or you'll know all my struggles.  Maybe being transparent was something I inherited from her since I have chosen to share this online journal ... guess I'll have to ask her about that some day.

One more thought to pass on ... throughout my journaling tonight, I've been thinking of how my thoughts might come across to some young women or even older women I know who haven't been without their moms all that long.  If you are one of those women, remember that I speak from a much different place than you are in right now and the way you process your grief over time may not look like my journey.

 Me & my sweet Mama

This is Worth A Few Minutes of Your Time

Recently I started following Karen Zacharias' blog. I don't know Karen and am not even sure how I happened on to her blog. She recently wrote about her friend Connie who lost her life to breast cancer. In this post, Karen shares some of Connie's thoughts on "how she seeks the face of God."  I was blown away by Connie's perspective and believe she needs to be heard.  It's not that I learned anything new but her honesty and depth rings so true in light of the serious physical battle she was up against.  You will be blessed and inspired, I promise.

http://karenzach.com/2009/a-dozen-red-ropes/

If You're Lucky Enough to be in the Mountains ...

Last week we were blessed to travel to Colorado and spend time with our friends Scott and Janna Stegall at their mountain cabin in Redstone, Colorado. We go way back with the Stegalls. If you've heard the story of how Hal and I met you might remember that Scott was the guy Hal turned to and said, "Hey, let's ask her to come back here and sit with us!" They had never met but became best friends and you know how our story ended up. It was a wonderful week of making new memories with "old" friends. The weather couldn't have been any better. We were reminded constantly of God's amazing creativity in the shape, color, and design of this beautiful area of our country. I hope you enjoy the slideshow. I could write about the fun times we had but I'm hoping the pictures tell the story. Enjoy!

P.S.  Be sure and hit the Pause button on my music player which is on the right side and down under all my profile info before you hit the Play button on the slide show.  (The slideshow has music has too.)

Make a Smilebox slideshow

September Gratitude

I have much to be thankful for as this ninth month of the year concludes:
*Time with Hal's family in Jackson
*Continued healing for Hal's Dad
*Celebrating Hal's 53rd birthday with friends & family
*Opportunity to teach marriage class with Hal
*The comfort of an "old" friendship - thank you Marla for coming to visit
*God's provision of a mate for a friend who waited a long time for the "right one"
*Encouragement from a friend I don't see often but who always lifts my spirits
*Anytime I get to steal my husband away on a fun road trip
*Colorado - Big skies, majestic mountains, running rivers, cool air
*Making new memories with "old" friends
*Air Travel - Sure makes getting across the country convenient (most of the time)
*My own bed and fluffy pillows to come home to after a road trip
*Fall colors and relief from the heat
*An hour spent on a beautiful back porch in the mountains
*A fun day with Anna Cherry at the Paintn' Place